Family Matters

We all know the term ‘family matters’, which has direct and indirect interpretations, but who knew that the long-term impact of that phrase and that family, as in our ancestral lineage going back generations, can have direct impact on the current lives we are living and impacting our relationships in the now.

Some would disagree but scientists studying epigenetics and/or transgenerational trauma are finding reason to believe the children and grandchildren of the Holocaust survivors, for example, can exhibit symptoms similar to PTSD. The premise is that trauma can be passed through genetic, environmental, social avenues, and the family mythology, even two generations later. It is often recognised in subtle or profound ways, which can show up in our inherent attitudes or personality traits or in our unconscious thoughts and behaviours and limiting beliefs.

Personal Mythology is one of the ways we explore these realms, by exploring the narratives that shape our lives and guide our decisions. Sometimes these mythologies are a powerful force driving a person into a successful life. Often these stories are outdated and unnecessary to carrying forward into the next generations.

Family Constellations is another approach to uncovering these outdated patterns and poltergeists from the past. It was created by Bert Hellinger and seeks to recognise ancestral trauma, through the patterns or obstacles which are showing up in the current life experience. The goal is to resolve those old conflicts and wounds of the past through a loving and purposeful ritual of closing, which honours the love that binds the family but also seeks to free the unhealthy bonds of those traumas.

One might ask why we would want to look to the past to discover what is happening now. One important reason is for our physical health. These traumas can get trapped as energy, which can be held and felt in the body. Many people report experiencing a specific physical ailment afflicting them the day a loved one passed away, yet the pain never left. It is very common for our clients to seek counselling for an unexplained physical symptom that doctors can’t find the origin of or the cure for. Another reason to explore the past is when we see ourselves repeating unhealthy or unhelpful behaviours that hold us back in relationship or in career success. Whatever the reason we have to question things, there are often answers for those who are willing to seek them with an open mind. New frontiers of research and discovery of what we are capable of knowing is evolving in the same way nature evolves.

But the takeaway from this month’s theme on family is really more of a question: If family mattered then—hundreds of years ago—and still holds the power to shape our lives today, how can we become more instrumental in creating a positive impact and legacy for the generations to come?

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