What is Marriage Counselling?
Marriage counselling, also known as couples counselling or relationship counselling, involves both partners in a romantic relationship working together with a therapist. This type of therapy can help improve communication skills and self-awareness, boost mental wellness and self-esteem, and foster a deeper emotional connection and mutual understanding between partners.
Although there was once a stigma around relationship counselling, this has significantly decreased in recent years. Many now recognise that even the most loving couples can face challenges, and seeking help is a positive step. You don't have to be married to attend couples therapy in Singapore — many of our clients are not. The only requirements are being in a relationship and having a genuine desire to improve it.
Why Do People Go to Marriage Counselling?
1. Wanting to be better
Far from being a death-knell to a relationship, going to counselling with your spouse can be a very positive sign, as it shows focus and willingness to strengthen the marriage. You and your partner may be attending counselling sessions together to learn how to better show your support, care, and love for each other.
2. Communication issues
Communication problems can lead to hurt emotions and strained relationship dynamics. Often, differences in communication styles play a role. For example, one partner may be naturally less talkative, which can feel like a communication breakdown to the other. Or the partner may feel they lack the skills to honestly express their concerns and needs.
3. Mental health concerns
If one or both partners in a relationship is affected by mental health issues - for example, depression, stress, or unresolved childhood trauma - then this will likely also affect their families, jobs, and other aspects of their lives. You may wish to get guidance from a professional therapist on how to support the mental well-being of your partner.
4. Dealing with change
Big life changes can sometimes lead to big conflicts for couples and families. Even positive or exciting life transitions can pose challenges. For example, you and your spouse may find yourselves facing relationship difficulties as you navigate the upheaval of welcoming a child, moving house or country, or starting a new job or business.
5. Intimacy problems
Loss of sexual intimacy in a marriage can happen in many different relationship stages, sometimes seemingly without warning. It may also be a source of tension if you have a higher sexual drive than your partner, or vice versa. Both are common concerns that can lead you to seek the services of a professional counsellor.
6. Family-related issues
You and your spouse may have different views on subjects such as parenting styles, division of parenting responsibilities, and dealing with demanding in-laws. Sessions with a marriage or family therapist can be a place to engage in constructive communication and improve conflict management skills.
7. Infidelity
Infidelity is one of the toughest emotional challenges that couples and their families can face. Counselling sessions when a spouse has been unfaithful can be difficult and painful. However, infidelity counselling may help both parties to talk through and heal from the trauma of betrayal, and focus on rebuilding trust and renewing hope for their future together.
8. Growing apart
You may still care deeply for your partner and their well-being, but no longer feel the same level of romantic love and emotional intimacy that drew you to them at the beginning of your relationship. One or both of you may no longer feel valued by the other spouse, or believe that your relationship has lost meaning.
9. Considering divorce
Things may have deteriorated to the point that you and your spouse hold a negative attitude toward your relationship and/or each other. Yet you may choose to seek out the services of a marriage therapist instead of those of a divorce lawyer, because you hope that with professional support the relationship may be saved.
What to Expect From Couples Counselling?
For most couples, relationship counselling will not require a long-term commitment. The majority of our clients achieve successful outcomes in around twelve weeks of one counselling session per week, and often report significant improvement in the relationship dynamic within the first few sessions.
At your first session, your counsellor will ask you and your partner questions about yourselves and your marriage. For instance: where did you meet, how long have you been together, why did you get together, what brought you to seek therapy services, and what are your relationship goals.
The primary focus of this initial couples counselling session is not to assign blame, but to establish a safe and supportive environment for both parties. Your therapist will work together with you and your spouse to create an environment where each person can engage in open communication, process emotions, and work through any areas of concern.
As you attend subsequent therapy sessions, you and your partner will continue to gain insight and understanding into the other's needs, wants, and values. At the end of each session, your counsellor may give both you and your spouse some homework exercises to complete before the next session.
Some of the work you will do in relationship therapy may be difficult, scary, or confrontational. For optimal results, you need to be willing to have an open mind, be emotionally focused and engaged during the counselling process, change some of your existing thought and behavioural patterns, and undergo active self-reflection and self improvement. Doing these things is not always easy or comfortable.
However, the hard work you put in is likely to pay off in the form of a stronger and healthier marriage. According to multiple studies, the majority of couples who have attended relationship therapy together are happier for having done so.
Other Counselling Services We Offer
In some circumstances, you and/or your partner may benefit from other types of counselling, instead of or in addition to marriage counselling services. Your therapist may make recommendations on a case by case basis. Or if you are interested in our other services such as individual therapy or family counselling (group therapy with another family member), please ask your counsellor if they may be right for your situation.
